Tag Archives: lists

People

7 Irrational fears I have while riding the metro


1) If I stand too close to the rails, someone might push me in and I’ll die.

2) Someone will fart on me as I’m going up the stairs.

3) That someone will steal my I Read button.

4) I’ll get some incurable disease from touching the holding poles.

5) That my hair will get caught in the door and I’ll scream and no one will help me so I’ll have to stop screaming.

6) That I will fall down the stairs and pass out so I’ll either wake up in an ambulance or naked and wrapped in newspaper.

7) That someone will start making harmless small talk but then we get off at the same time and they won’t stop talking to me so I have to pretend I work at the nearest Jamba Juice.

Standard
Technology, Uncategorized

Things to do while on hold with Continental Airlines


1) Notice the design of your couch. I’d never really looked at my couch. Well it’s my parent’s couch and I’m “borrowing” it until I can afford a grown-up apartment. But look at it.

What was this guy thinking? Seafoam green, royal blue and maroon? I think I’ve gone blind from staring at it so long.

2) Guess what your dog is thinking?

I’m inviting soooo many bitches over while you’re gone.

3) Think about all the productive, pressing things you could be doing if you weren’t on hold!

4) Think about how you wouldn’t be doing those things anyway and that is why there are still so many.

5) Google “being on hold” and talk to other people on hold.

6) Forget what you called about when they finally pick up. Scramble. I know this has got to happen to other people too.

7) And of course, blog about being on hold. Oh and all those other people on hold you talked to.

SIDE NOTE: Continental has awesome customer service. Yes, I was on hold for some time, but they got what I needed done exactly and I only had to speak to one person who was incredibly nice.

Standard