Jessica Puente

So is anyone else being forced to recognize their obsessive behavior because of the new iMessages?

Thought so.

What creeper suggested this feature?

It’s bad enough I have random and irrational anxiety over whether people dislike me or not. Now I can watch myself be rejected in real time!

Read 11:00 GIVE UP AT THIS

Thank God I don’t have Siri or my phone would also vocally mock me.

There are just waaaaay too many situations in which being able to see people writing a response is excruciating.

There’s that really gorgeous boy who is just too cool to even consider thinking about features on an iPhone. How un-minimalistic.

Or when you miss a call from your mom and she texts:

Are you itchy? Your cousin got bit by a dog and didn't tell anyone.

What the frick is going on mom?!

And then you just see those three little bastards.

And not just the abuse but what about when I send a message. I don’t need you to know I opened and closed that text six times before I finally decided what to write.

 Hello, my name is Jessica and I am a victim of first world problems.

Any who…

I’m considering demolishing the iMessage.

I will begin by banning them from my phone. Will you join me?